REFLECTIONS ON A PATH NOT CHOSEN

People have complained to me about some unhappy circumstance by saying, "I didn't ask for this!", as if they could deny their condition because they did not choose it. This past summer I learned I had cancer. So in my path of life I came to an intersection with a sharp turn in it. I did not choose this path, but I could not avoid it. I did not like what I saw in the path ahead. There were deep valleys, dark shadows, sharp rocks, and much discomfort. There have been setbacks and complications. Everything was supposed to go smoothly. It didn't. But I saw something else. I saw that this was the path where I would find Jesus. He had picked this path of suffering for me, and He was inviting me to follow. Where did I find Jesus? I thought often of the woman who had a flow of blood and found Jesus on her path one day. She reached out to touch Him and was healed. I have found Jesus on my path and I reach out to Him again and again. He has helped me and continues to help me. One morning just a month after the surgery, I saw our geraniums in the front yard, basking in the sun, a brilliant display of glorious red. It was a smile from Jesus, just for me.

What have I learned? One thing I learned was that I had God's permission to dislike some of the things that happened to me. I also learned that I could deliberately choose and embrace the unpleasant experiences that I dislike. Some words of Carlo Carretto help me say what I'm learned:

God permits suffering. God did it to me. In wounding me God intends to bring out the best in me. If the desert had been full of beguiling oases instead of snakes, hunger and thirst, the Israelites would never have reached the Promised Land. No spur can move us toward tomorrow more effectively than suffering. That's why God struck Jacob on the hip.

That is why I have decided that even though I did not choose this path God put me on, I will choose it now. It is my path. It is the best path for me because it is God's path.

Alan